Do Not Disturb · A podcast about motherhood
Gillian Orr:
A family does not need a second child to be complete
Gillian on losing a senior media role on maternity leave, going freelance and being happy with one child.
The Do Not Disturb edit
Three things to take with you.
Three ideas from the conversation, in our words.
Do
Choose your family’s size around the life and relationships you actually want.
Not
Treat a second child as the badge of a complete family.
Disturb
The assumption that a one-child family needs defending.
Who decides when a family is complete?
Gillian and Simona talk about work, motherhood and what happens when a career changes while you are on maternity leave. Gillian describes finding a different way to work and thinking again about what she wants.
They also discuss comparison: the ages at which women are expected to marry, have children or reach a career milestone, and the pressure to explain a one-child family.
What comes up
- Career identity and maternity leave
- Freelance work and family life
- Family size and other people’s timelines
Keep the conversation going
Emily Oster ↗
For questioning the rules families are told to follow.
Tova Leigh ↗
For choosing your own life beyond other people’s expectations.
More from Simona: get Simona’s Cultural Edit on Mondays →
Do Not Disturb · The Inside Story
Gillian Orr: Why Comparison Steals Motherhood
Gillian Orr joins Simona Deifta for a candid conversation about comparison, career identity after maternity leave, becoming a mother at 39 and why ‘having it all’ so often depends on invisible help.
The conversation
What does comparison take from mothers?
Comparison turns private circumstances into public verdicts. Gillian examines career identity, motherhood timelines and the support that often remains invisible behind stories of women who appear to manage everything.
- Career identity after maternity leave
- Becoming a mother at 39
- Comparison and cultural pressure
- The invisible support behind ‘having it all’
What stays with you
Context changes the story
Age, money, work and support shape motherhood; comparison usually hides those differences.
Identity needs room
Returning to ambition is not disloyal to motherhood. It is part of remaining a whole person.
Support is not a footnote
What looks like individual achievement often rests on care, flexibility and help that stay unseen.
About the guest
Who is Gillian Orr?
Gillian Orr is an award-winning journalist, former Editor-in-Chief of Refinery29 UK and writer of Slouching Towards Bethnal Green.
Frequently asked
About this episode
What is Gillian Orr’s Do Not Disturb episode about?
It is about comparison, career identity, maternity leave, invisible support and finding ambition again.
What topics does the conversation cover?
The conversation covers motherhood timelines, returning to work, cultural pressure, support and the myth of having it all.
Where can I watch or listen?
Watch the filmed conversation on YouTube or listen through the direct episode link above.