Do Not Disturb · A podcast about motherhood
Becky Selbie:
Whose motherhood rulebook are you following?
Be strong. Try harder. Keep everyone happy. Becky Selbie on the unwritten instructions that can make motherhood exhausting.
The Do Not Disturb edit
Three things to take with you.
Three ideas from the conversation, in our words.
Do
Name the unwritten instruction driving you: be perfect, be strong, or keep everybody happy.
Not
Treat an unmet need as a personal defect.
Disturb
The rule that a good mother should never need help.
Which rule are you trying to live up to?
Becky talks about the familiar instructions that high-achieving women can carry into motherhood: be perfect, be strong, try hard, please others and hurry up. Following all of them can leave very little room to need anything yourself.
She and Simona discuss noticing those patterns, accepting help and choosing when a high standard is useful—and when it is asking too much.
What comes up
- The rules behind perfectionism
- Why accepting help can feel uncomfortable
- Changing expectations after becoming a mother
Keep the conversation going
Anna Mathur ↗
For making rest and repair part of everyday motherhood.
Cat Sims ↗
For turning an invisible expectation into a clear boundary.
More from Simona: get Simona’s Cultural Edit on Mondays →