Do Not Disturb · Brigid Schulte

Why better time management won’t fix an unfair workload

Brigid and I talk about the jobs that never make it onto a timesheet, sharing responsibility at home, and why time off should not have to be earned.

Brigid Schulte seated beside a window, wearing a black top

Released 4 November 2026 · Season 3 · 1:00:38

Brigid Schulte on Unequal Care, Resentment and Repair

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The Do Not Disturb edit

Three things to take with you.

Three ideas from the conversation, in our words.

Do

Agree who owns a household task, including noticing and planning it.

Not

Treat helping with a chore as the same thing as sharing responsibility.

Disturb

The expectation that mothers must finish everyone else’s work before resting.

The list behind the list

Brigid describes the resentment that built while she tried to meet demands at work and at home. Our conversation moves from her Thanksgiving turning point to the less visible work of remembering, planning and being available.

Fairness needs an agreement

Her examples go beyond splitting individual chores. We discuss shared standards, accountability and making room for each other’s leisure. Fair does not have to mean an identical division of every task.

A workplace question too

Brigid widens the conversation to working cultures that reward presence and long hours. Personal organisation has limits when the rules around work and care stay the same.

Try this after listening

These are my suggestions for trying the ideas we discuss. They are not a verbatim exercise from the episode.

Hand over a whole task

Pick one recurring task at home. Write down its parts: noticing it needs doing, planning, doing it and checking it is finished. Agree who owns those parts and what a reasonable result looks like. Review the arrangement together after trying it.

Make room for both people’s time off

Each write down something you would like time for. Compare what needs covering at home to make each possible. Agree who will cover it, rather than leaving one person to arrange everything.

Meet the guest

Brigid Schulte

Brigid Schulte is a journalist, author and Director of the Better Life Lab at New America. Her work examines how work, family, gender and care shape the possibility of a better life.

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